Ohio is important

Wow. Ohio is a big deal. And the Manlys of Cincinnati live here. The national news keeps talking about us. Even Greta Van Susteren mentioned us tonight on Fox News. We're mostly a big deal because of this big election coming up next week. We're also a big deal because of our fine professional sports teams.

We've had numerous out of staters attempt to affect our voting habits. But here's the deal, I think we may just not vote at all. I mean you should see some of the literature we're getting via the U.S. Postal Service. Maybe you non-Ohioans aren't getting this inside info we are receiving but both of these candidates have some major issues they need to deal with. As a public service announcement let me fill you in on what we've been learning. Brace yourself.

• McCain voted against the Violence Against Women Act
• Obama voted against providing care and protection for babies who are born alive after abortions
• McCain voted against equal pay for women
• Obama wants to raise my taxes
• McCain wants to take away my employer paid healthcare
  
• Obama is friends with terrorists
• McCain is practically George Bush
• Obama is a Bears fan

How can I be expected to vote for either one of these candidates?

On the positive side if Obama wins the election hopefully I'll get to see more cars with paint writing on the windows saying, "I'm a Mama for Obama." Then again, if McCain wins I'll get at least four more years of Tina Fey on SNL.